Sunday, April 06, 2008

The Future

I learned about 10 years ago that I can retrain my mind so that I don't worry so much; not anticipate the worst that can happen. Somewhere along the line, I had learned to believe that if you imagined the worst that could happen, it certain would NOT happen. For the most part, I found that credo to live by true, but, it was an exhausting and demanding credo.

Then, ten years ago, DH was approaching his first retirement. We had just moved to Turlock, bought a home, and in 18 months, he would be retired and looking for a second career path. I knew that no matter what, this retirement was inevitable, so I decided it was time to not worry so much about what it would mean financially but to turn my thoughts to acceptance.

This mental retraining was hard work. I was swimming up the stream against the very credo that had sustained me for too many years - if you expect the worst, you won't be disappointed when things don't go as bad as they might have. So - how did I manage this?

Well, I knew what I feared so RECOGNITION had been achieved. Once the fear was recognized and acknowledged, I was able to start seeing it in all of its disguises. Once I was able to see my fears and face them, I could turn away from them and as they say "Let go and let God". I was amazed at how well it worked. Not immediately, but, eventually it worked.

Talking yourself out of negative, self-defeating thoughts is sort of like reverse brainwashing, except this time you are literally washing your brain of the thing that holds you back. When the day came for Don's final day of work and more to the point, the following Monday when he did not have to get up for that long commute, all was peaceful within me. I knew and believed that we would be alright. Ten years later and his second and final retirement a year past, I have learned the lesson and I worry a lot less these days.

So now it is my turn. Retirement looms. I have 2 1/2 years to go and I want it so bad I can taste it. But, I learned something else along the way of retraining my fears and disconnecting from them; I also learned that you have to do a bit of planning. I don't mean financial planning, thought that is a given. This plan comes under the heading of "What will I do now that I'm all grown up?"

Certainly, I can kick back. Lord knows, I love to kick it. Give me a book, a cup of coffee, good music, my journal and a serene setting and I'm in heaven. Give me a walk in any sort of weather and my camera will go to work. Give me time to actually have the energy to follow-up on creative inspiration and I'm there. So what will I be doing?

Yesterday I was having coffee with my friend, Elaine, and I told her that I had always had this dream of having a little hole in the wall shop filled with books and treasures. It would be a place where people could come for coffee and tea, a comfortable chair to settle in for a while, a sort of retreat away from home. Elaine says put it out there and it can happen. Not news of course but a good affirmation nonetheless.

Having my own shop would give me a place to present my own work as well. Small books of poetry, my photography, greeting cards, etc. Since I'm still working, I can't do this, however, I can PLAN. The first step was opening my Etsy store. Currently I have a few crocheted items posted and now some of my photography is up.

And then the universe opened up another door - a show. Elaine is developing into a promoter and she has a plan that includes me. Beyond that, there isn't too much to say except that I will be in a show. What an exciting possibility to look forward to.

So, I have a plan. Develop my Etsy store, improve my digital knowledge, put together my poetry into small books, and most importantly, develop consistency and discipline so that I can succeed in my vision.


Anonymous said...
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qualcosa di bello said...

one thing that i have learned with years on the phone with my best girlfriend/prayer partner...your words of wisdom are the solid truth! we have also uncovered another truth...God usually shows only the small baby steps, one at a time, as we are blooming into His plan for us. i tend toward the 'big picture' so this was a real lesson for me. your post sounds like those baby steps of a big plan unfolding! the joy & anticipation are palpable! you go, girl!!!

Cre8Tiva said...

your words so touched me today...we are on the same path...rebecca

Tammy said...

Annie you sound very grown up to me. ;) What a wonderful and exciting plan. It's so wonderful to have friends like Elaine to inspire us. You go girl! XXOO

Bimbimbie said...

Here's to exciting creative days ahead for you. *!*

Beth said...

Sounds like your have some wonderful plans. I love your idea of the little shop, wish I lived close so if you did open one I could come visit. Keep your plans alive, I am sure they will happen.

Inspired Tokens said...

Your words are very touching today. Gives a moment of pause in one's own life. I am a true believer in 'positive thinking' and putting ideas out there. Just out there in mid-air. I feel like if you don't you might miss out.

Thank you for touching my heart today and giving me some different ways of thinking of things.

I believe your shop will be spectacular!

Elaine said...

Hi Anne,
Once again, I feel inspired to begin journaling on my blog instead of trying to sell my property in Jackson or my car!!

Hmm, well my most recent thoughts that are taped to the wall by my nightstand.. Facing my fears builds character and Love is not something outside that I need to access, it's inside of me.

I value our friendship.


Wanda said...

I love your dreams and they will be a reality.

My son, at 42, has made life changes...He now owns his own Rubber Band Gun buiness which he makes the custom guns and now has a website The Oldtimer, and he just bought a Red Brick Pizza Franchise.....So you go girl...Dream Big...Pray Big, and Enjoy Big.

Julie said...

I would frequent a store such as yours. In fact, you probably would have to kick me out for spending so much time there.

It is good to see you so bubbling with plans and positive energy!


vicci said...

DREAMS do come true!!!!!! I believe in 'putting' it out you go Annie!XXOO

Mary Timme said...

To paraphrase a great woman of poetry: You and I, we do what we know, and then it changes, so we have to find a new "do what we know." You are sprouting new wings. Yea!

Sue "Sioux" Seibert said...

Have a plan. Yup! That's so important, and you have one. How wonderful. Isn't it interesting that our time in life, we are making plans for the future. I walked through the kitchen while ago and thought, gee, I don't feel all grown up yet! And yet, I have all grown up grandchildren! The future is bright. God bless you and Don, Annie!

sandi shelton said...

I love this post! You're so right about the need to retrain our brains NOT to go to the negative place, but to let go and really believe that things will be all right. I try to practice that as well--sometimes it goes better than others--but I always notice that when I do it, it works. How nice to read your calm words, and I know this store of yours can become a reality and such a great place for people to gather. I'm a novelist, and to tell you the truth, having that kind of faith is the ONLY way my novels get written. Putting aside the fear and concentrating on what can be!

Maria said...

Hi, Annie, I know this is not your regular journal but I read this entry and it really struck a cord. I think we may have a lot in common. I hope to keep up with your journals as much as possible and welcome your visits to mine. I too would love to open a little shop and I make cards and do photograpy...this weekend I will have a booth at a church bazaar and am thinking of making a blog on Bazaars and markets...i do love them....They are like the windows to the soul of a community....and sometimes of their visitors..:) Maria