Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Still feeling quiet
I am noticing that I'm feeling very quiet, very still, within myself. It is occurring to me that this is an unfamiliar feeling. I have felt this way from time to time before but the root of the cause seems somehow different.
In the past, these still moments accomplished regrouping, restrengthening, when I really needed it. Now it seems more like a lull to reorganize and reorient myself. I still have my small list of things to do, you know, the daily stuff of life that I personally find very easy to ignore. DH will give a strong affirmative to THAT.
I find my evenings totally occupied with crocheting (thank you, mom) and relearning this old artform. There is something almost meditative about crocheting, the repetition of motion that creates its own rhythm. It is relaxing and rewarding.
My camera is not looking at the world at the moment. Since cameras look outward, this makes perfect sense to me. But, the camera is still always there, always in my purse ready to be pulled out.
I find myself scribbling notes to myself for Retabaile's "meme" on driving imperatives. Be assured, Ret, my notebook is filling. Reflecting on driving imperatives is showing me the ebb and flow OF the imperative I've settled upon. That imperative won't be a surprise to anyone who is a regular reader here but actually thinking of the order of things forces me to reflect on my entire life (gee, thanks, Ret). ** smiling here, I promise, Ret **
I find myself musing on poems that don't go anywhere beyond my mind. The brain and the hand seem to be disconnected at the moment.
So, I continue to feel quiet. I'm actually grateful for this feeling. I haven't had a chance to recharge myself, just FOR myself, in I think, my entire life. I don't regret or resent any of what has come before. My life certainly has not been a hard one. But there is something rather like Christmas and birthday all wrapped into one big package that makes this process quietly exciting. And there's that word "quiet" yet again.
Posted by Annie Jeffries at 8:23 AM